How to Piss Off Selene
by me12243
Summary: DISCONTINUED
1. part 1

WHY? wy does no one ever review my stuff?

It's so anoying.

All I ask is you to give me a 1-10 rating.

It's not that hard.

Just a shout out to Aldedron, You're so freakin' awesome for reviewing all my stories. I really like ur new story. You are probably one of the only reviewers I have. You rock. I'm going to write about how awesome you are on fiction press when i get the time. Thank you.

Selene.

5. Tell her that she's just a replacement for Sonja, and Viktor probably just hates her guts.

4. Take a picture of her showering and put in on Kraven's desk.

3. Try to kill Michael

2. Make out with Michael.

1. Have sex with Michael and brag about it.

WOW. I'm out of plot bunnies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh No!!!!!!!!!!

But seriously Aldedron rocks.

I really like KateB's work too. Her name has numbers at the end, but i don't remember. Check her out, she's great.


	2. part 2

Your name is Iris. And you like to hop through movies and piss off a lot of people. You have chosen Selene as your'e first target. Let's hope you don't die before #1

here's #5

She was walking down the hall. Headed for her room with Michael.

It would be best if you didn't stalk your prey while he's around. All of the sudden someone slaps you.

"You're going to get your ass ripped off if you're going to mess with one of them," Kahn told you. He had a stern look in his eyes.

"Oh, don't worry. I have my ways of escaping her death glare.

"Go put your ass in bed." And he walked away.

You wait for a while for her Hybrid to go to sleep. She always went to the bathroom sometime during the day, So you sneak through their room into their bathroom.

She was also very tired as she walked in. She even ran into the door before she opened it.

"Viktor hated you. He never liked you. He only kept you so he would have somone to kick kraven's ass when he wanted them to. You're just a replacement for Sonja. And you know it."

She barely heard you. But then it set in what you told her.

Her eyes turned blue as she lunged at you. You just run away giggling like a five-year-old.

As you run for Kahn quarters, you hear her crying in michael arms.

Mission complete.

Ok, i know this is hateful towards Selene. It's suposed to be. *Sigh* Aldedron hasn't reviewed 'How to piss off Selene' yet. *Sob*


	3. part 3

Well, I just relized that I should stop making new stories and keep going on my old ones. REVIEW!

You sneak into Selene's bathroom. Now all you have to do is figure out how to istall the camera where she wouldn't see it.

You unscrew the thingy that the water comes out of, and put the camera in there.

But then you hear Selene coming in her room. Hopefully, she didn't need a shower.

"Anyway, " you heard her say. "He brings me down on everything. Like I'm not alowed to be as happy as he his. Like when he used to critisize my breasts. I was twelve for god's sake! I can't believe he actually got as far as getting into the same war I'm in!" You can hear Michael sit down on the bed, and Selene pacing.

"Are you listening?" She asked Michael.

"Yes" He answered.

"Than what did I just say?" She demanded.

"That Josh used to critisize your breasts when you were twelve, and that you can't believe he's in the same war as you are."

"Aww, I love you." She used it in a tone that you were sure she only used around him.

"I love you too." He answered. You could hear the bed springs creek as she climbed on top of him.

Pretty soon you could hear panting and more bed springs and you probably get what they are doing so I will move on.

Good you thing you brought your iPod! :D

You wait for them to pass out and then you sneak out.

You go to your laptop and go to wear the camera is. You wait for Selene to get in the shower after she woke up.

You finally get a good picture of her entire body covered in soapy bubbles.

Now you had to get the camera.

but how?

Waiting.

8 hours later:

After Selene and Michael finally go to sleep, you sneak in.

You get your camera and leave.

You copy the picture to paper, and put in a frame.

Now you have to sneak into Kravens room.

You run into Kraven's room and run back out, giggling all the way.

hehehehe.................

I've had this story since december, but i forgot about it. lol.


	4. part 4

MORE!

6. Chuck a lycan at her.

7. constantly stare at Michael private areas, licking your lips every so often.

8. Always stare at her chest while your talking to her.

9. Slap her ass.

10. Make sure she finds the note you wrote that sais, "I had a great time last night, Michael."

HeHeHe...


	5. part 5

This is Kraven's reaction to Selene's picture on his desk.

Kraven's POV-

I was just walking in my room and walking past my desk to my bed to sleep off a long day. I then saw out of the corner of my eye a new picture on my desk. OF Selene showering. Selene? Showering?

She put it there, didn't she.

I ran to her room, knocking loudly.

"Ugh! The war is over and I can't even fuck with my boyfriend!" He heard a voice yell. "Can' people just leave us to ourselve's for one hour?"

I jumped as she wrenched open the door, covered only by her bath robe. If looks could kill...

"I saw the picture you put on my desk. It was amazing Selene. And I'm here to tell that I accept whatever apology you're giving, Sweetums."

"Sweetums? What the fuck are you talking about? I gave you no picture!"

I simply smiled. "Of course you did. The one of you showering. Don't you remember putting it there?"

"...What?" She looked really pissed now. but smiled seductively. "I remember now. Give me one second to grab something."

Yes! She did bring it!

Unfortunately, she came with a gun. And not amused.

"What do you need a gun for?" He looked down at her taking the safety off.

"I gave you no such picture." She said and began shooting at his feet as he ran away.

A/N Yes, it sucks. I ran out of ideas, ok? get over it.


End file.
